Our Wife Life

Same Birds. Slightly Older. Considerably Wiser.


The devil wears pampers

I just wanna start by saying AIR FRANCE YOU SUCK BALLS!!!! We paid $500 more to take an Air France flight for what we thought would be a hassle free flight. LAX-CDG-PAU. Well, AF delayed our flight an hour which made is miss our connecting flight in CDG. So they, without informing us, rerouted us to ORLY…. An hour bus ride out from paris CDG!!! So, yes, we also had to grab all of our luggage which was 3 big ass bags and huge surfboard bag…and a baby. Oh actually we got lucky, freds bag didnt even make it haha… Kind would’ve been amazing if none of our bags made it, so they couldve just delivered all of it to our place in france. Then to top it all off, we had to pay 20 euro per person to take the Air france transfer bus!?! Amazing. Super psyched! At least the plane ride was enjoyable! We snagged an empty 4 seater and lily was out pretty much the whole way… After a little melt down of course 💣💥😲💨

Anyways I just wanted to let the world know that my precious little Lily is severely jet lagged and IT IS MOTHER EFFING RADICAL!!!!!!!!! i was so desperate to sleep that i climbed in her crib and slept in there all night so she would settle down. She has gone from a 12 hour sleeper to a 2-4-6-8 hour… I cant deal!!!!!!
Im gonna try and break Lil’s jet lag today. No naps and lots of play time with a heavy dinner! Wish me luck… Cause im fading fast!!


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Sin City

FIRST OFF! People who say ‘what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas’ say that because they had a lame ass time and don’t want people to know….muahahaha!!! I on other had a FRIGGEN AMAZING BOMBASSTASTIC TIME!!!!
3 nights, 3 pool parties, 3 hours of sleep!! haha!!
Here are some vanilla photos i was allowed to post…here we go!



























In a nutshell…

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Cheap thrills

Nana Liliana and I hit up the Waikiki Aquarium yesterday. First time back there in probably like (Cough) 15years (cough) huh? What? Nothing…. Im old. Haha. Moving on.

Nine bucks and 60 minutes later, oh and a crap ton of ooh-ing, awww-ing and pointing, we had explored everything that place had to offer. It was actually really nice, seeing as it was air conditioned. Opposed to our other idea of hitting up the Honolulu zoo… The hottest place to be on a hawaiian summer day…. Nothing like the smell of sizzling animal poop!






Lily was amused and amazed on our adventure… Mission accomplished!


Return to Normalcy

First off, I’m pretty sure the title if this quote is also an episode on Boardwalk empire… Ok, cool. Haha

So, I thought that normalcy would return right after the baby was out…. Nope. Let me tell you, I was a RAGING LUNATIC to my husband when I was preggers! It was, honestly, pretty radical how bipolar I was with him… And only him! I knew exactly what I was doing too, but i couldn’t control myself. And worst of all no one really related to my crazy pregnancy hormones… Some were close, but I was alone with my crazy ass.
Let me explain. I couldn’t stand the way he smelt, chewed his food, the sound of him farting (fucking killed me every time), the sound of his breath, his mannerisms, how loud his pee was in the middle of the night… See GNARLEY! I felt this way towards him about 80% of the time. When that 20% window of unconditional love would open up, the whole time I would think, oh God when is he gonna start grossing me out again. What if he farts and ruins it…. Straight up mental case! Then I’d cry because I felt so bad for him. Hot mess. But, he is a good man and tried his best to make me happy. Changed his soap, went away to fart, chewed softer, closed the door to pee at night….:)
It’s been a little over 2 years now since I found out I was preggers. And only NOW, am I starting to feel like myself again! Granted I breast fed for a year… So I kept those natural crazy pills going. But now I feel calm… Well, as calm as having a baby can be. I seriously LOVE the shit out of my husband, and I’m remembering and enjoying all the things that once turned me off towards him. He is such an amazing dad it melts the crazy around my heart away. It was so nice to reconnect with the hubs on our bali trip…. you seriously can get caught up being a parent. playing the roll if mom isn’t very sexy time. And it can be easy to forget that i am not only a mom but a wife… It felt so good to have the flutter in my heart again ❤.
So, if by chance anyone anyone relates to this…. Hang in there…. And have yourself a cocktail til the crazy wears off!



Thirty fun… Lyndie’s birthday weekend

Now that the weekend is over and it’s back to the grind. It’s time to reminisce on the fun we had with some of our favorite girlfriends. For Lyndie’s birthday we got together on the southside of Kauai for some fun in the sun at the Grand Hyatt Resort in Poipu.IMG_3685

Missy came over from Oahu with her little munchkin Lily. The most well behaved 18 month old I’ve ever known. IMG_3627Lyndie came down from the north shore with her main man Axle. A child with more energy than 5 toddlers. Mia flew from California with her 18 month old Kobe and 4 year old Mila. Both of whom are as adorable as they come.IMG_3728 Mandy came all the way from Florida with her baby incubating in her cute little belly. IMG_3687Then there was Estrella who trekked it from Kilauea, Coral and her brood from Hanalei, Colleen and her gorgeous family, Dani with her little guy Mav. And MyselfIMG_3638 It was a grand group of gals and grommets.


There was lots of drinking involved. Not much eating. Bronzing. Kids playing. Moms getting hit on by Canadians who were visiting with their mom. Boob/nipple talk, And of course fun photo ops


Missing was our bird Elizabeth who we tortured with texts and pics throughout the weekend.


Next up? Vegas in August for bachelorette fest 2013. Watch out world!


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I honestly thought this was real


I went to my friends no-kids-allowed (yes!!) babyshower/rager (for all us baby-free moms).

Mimosas were flowing and the volume of chatter was escalating by the hour (we were there for 5hrs!)Haha

Then this present was opened, GENIUS INVENTION!  I was soooo bummed I didn’t get one for my baby shower. When everyone was laughing, I was filled with  jealousy…until Kristen (the one in the pic) was like ‘uh Dani, its a gag gift! Were thinking it was real??!~?! ahdhafkljdfklasdjfdsjfjldhahhahaha!!’

ME:  :(     I was hoping to find it on amazon.com  that night for Mav  (the dude that wakes up all night wanting to nurse)

ANYWAYS moral of the story, someone please make this so I can buy it for my baby, thanks!

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Mommy Diaries: The good, the bad, the WTF?!

Lets make this quick:

Pre preggers- small but perky enough… I made do

Preggers- a little more pizzazz, nothing to get exited about…

Post preggers/MILK DUDS- pre nursing/ post nursing

Current- I’m pretty sure lilys chichis school mine…

It’s just like somebody popped my fun bags… Not saggy… Just gone! I sometimes think I’d take saggy over nothing… At least I’d have skin to manipulate into a lump haha.

My boobs took me to me heights I’ve never known, then dumped me in a diaper genie…. This is where my boobs emotional state reside now.

For the ladies who have no idea what I’m talking about, YOU LUCKY BITCHES YOU!!!! And the mamas whose boobies may as well go in the diaper genie with mine… Youre not alone. Misery loves company…. For now??!!! Looks like we got us a BOOB JOB in our future!!!




I’ve become a mama bird to this little birdie… AND HE RULES MY LIFE! …. and no he’s not a ginger, its more of a strawberry blonde color in the sun, and only in the sun! Soooo I’m apologizing now in advance for the abundance of this lil man child in all my posts.

The journey of motherhood is whole nother blog in itself but I will dabble in it here…. because EVERY lady should know the trials and tribulations of having a baby in REAL TIME (as opposed to fake babies) aka celebrities that are so rich they dont even have to be preggo with the rugrat let alone having them interrupt a full nights sleep… Babies are not accessories, I REPEAT, THEY ARE NOT ACCESSORIES!!! Ok, ok, they are however, definitely a photo op.

2009-08-02 13.19.30

How my body used to look like

The whale I became… and things are never gonna be the same😦

2012-07-11 09.37.52 leopard and preggo belly= not a good look….apparently I lost fashion sense with my pregnant brain.

OOOOOOHHH well I got my Maverick Beau out of the deal. Im ok with it.

isnt he the cutest….EVER! hehe battle of the cute owlettes, MISSY:)

Mavs selfie

Mavs selfie

x dani


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